Surprising news today: oil execs in Washington are donating their salaries to Puget Sound cleanup. Bewildering, I know, especially in light of their opposition to taxing toxic chemicals for the same purpose.

It didn’t make sense to me until I realized that they’d finally had a chance to absorb the wisdom of Notorious B.I.G.

By plotting the net income and personal troubles in the lives of oil barons, I’ve shown analytically what many hip-hop fans have known all along: more money, more problems.

Mo money mo problems

Now it makes sense. The oil magnates aren’t relinquishing their salaries for the public good—or for clean water—they’ve just realized the fundamental relationship between money and problems. It turns out, by divesting themselves from swimming pools full of gold, they’re really just helping themselves!